Survival Mode

Carleton got a double hernia surgery Wed. morning (we had to get up at 5:45 am to go). The next day Carleton collapsed onto the ceramic tile of our kitchen floor. He was unresponsive and the creepy part is that his eyes were open. I've only seen people non responsive with their eyes open in the movies... and they were dead. I screamed at the top of my lungs but he didn't do anything. I screamed asking where the phones were. I learned something about myself. I am not good in panic situations. I could not think clearly or quickly-I felt like I was going in slow motion. I dialed 911 and didn't get an answer. I had never pushed send. By that time, Carleton came to and told me to call his doctor. I was so freaked out I couldn't even think of where to begin to find the number. We talked to an on call nurse who told us to come into the ER. I thought of the Mark guy I knew that was a ski patrol guy and how some guy crashed into a tree and had said he was fine and then died. I worried about how hard Carleton hit his head. Annie was screaming and Apollo kept asking me to hold him. I must have screamed hard because my throat hurt. I tried to hold it together and told myself I could have a good cry later. I would have to drive and get to the ER (Carleton's always the strong and efficient one). The cliche phrase "the sun rises and sets for him" is how I feel about Carleton. I am probably more dependent on him than I should be. I told him later that if given the choice to go to a beautiful and peaceful place or he could stay, I asked him to stay. He told me this week that we will have a long and happy life together. This is my greatest fear, losing him or my kids. I used to get so worried if he would come home late and having this happen was such a scare for me.

They checked him over at the ER and gave him an IV of fluids. He had two taken Vicodin for the first time, and that without food. Since his surgeries were in the lower abdomen, most of his blood had gone there. The kids weren't allowed to go in so I wandered the halls of the hospital for hours (hours past nap time) until it got crazy and I drove them around until they fell asleep. Carleton can't pick anything up and has needed to lay low. I realize even more now how much he does to help. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the friends that have offered their help, help with food and with taking our kids. I appreciate it more than you know.

Carleton said he has more of an understanding for having a baby. I realized how hard it must be to be the caregiver. I asked him how hard it is to be the caregiver when I had my kids. He says he doesn't worry like I do that the kids are getting enough attention. Kids alive...all is well. He doesn't worry about good meals. Meal time- peanut butter and jelly....kids are fed-check.

Here are some pics from before the surgery (we haven't taken any since).



Glow sticks. I love the Dollar Tree. I bought a bunch of different type of glow sticks- swords, necklaces etc. It's great fun for Apollo at bed and nap time.


Here's his little hand wrapped around it after he fell asleep during nap time.

The dining table and chairs we ordered came. I made a ramp out of one of the chair boxes. Apollo had fun driving his cars on it. Annie had fun watching him and climbing on it.

Annual Moab Trip

Carleton said this was the best vacation of his life. He got to be with his best buddy and brother in law, Josh for two full days of mountain biking in one of the most beautiful places on earth. He said he also had the best hamburger of his life (for those of you that really know Carleton know he is a hamburger Connoisseur). So...best mountain biking of his life, best burger of his life, and being with his favorite people made it his best vacation. I got to hang with Heidi and the kids for a couple of days and then joined the boys and the rest of the family in Moab. We missed Justin this year-he always adds humor, fun, and he's so good with the kids.


I asked Apollo what his favorite Moab activity and he said "jeepin'". We went along Porcupine Rim right along a cliff. I have never felt so scared. At one point, I thought for sure it was the end-mom was scared too (because she used a word she usually doesn't use). It was beautiful to look over the whole valley at the end.



We slipped over to Grandpa and Grandma Skenandore's house for a visit. They both are so good with the kids. They have always been a great support to me in my life as a child. During college, I would bring friends over and stay with them and they would visit me too. They wrote me every week of my mission. I love them and wish that we lived closer. Here's Grandma giving the kids a ride on her new wheels.






Here's Miss Ann using a spoon.




One of the highlights of the trip, was going with Heidi to her upholstery class. She's been telling me some great tips she's learned from the class. I'll have to blog about all the cool things she's told me. We grew up with my mom always refinishing antiques. My dad would wonder about some of the things she would do but I think he always liked how they turned out. Now, Heidi and I like to refinish furniture, too. We found (she found-I was just there) a cool chair at the DI last Moab trip that had ugly blue and green fabric. Josh, for Heidi's birthday, signed her up for a re-upholstery class. She's doing a beautiful black material and painting the chair white for Maddy's pink and black room.


A lot of fun rock climbing. Apollo looks like a little stud here. Heidi is super good.



Cool hike. The kids had fun playing in the water on the rocks. Annie kept trying to wriggle out of my mom's hands so she could scoot all the way into the water. Annie comes alive in water splashing and smiling. Here's Jordan a.k.a. "The Baby Whisperer".



I snapped some pics of Heidi doing some workouts with the kids for my other blog. She was a good sport.





We had fun around the campground listening to guitar playing and roasting s'mores, but this year we went back to a hotel every night so Annie could continue to get better. Thank you for all your prayers and notes of concern. Annie felt better before we left and feels great now. This is the first time since December she hasn't been sick. I think the breathing treatments really helped.






These guys formed their own little "kid group" away from the adults around the fire. They had fun telling each other stories. Maddy's like their teacher. I would love her around to entertain Apollo and Annie. She was so darling with Annie. She sang her to sleep in the car one day.




Final goodbyes. Apollo has a blast with his cousins. Gracers and Apollo adore each other.

Vacationing at Home

My sister Heidi, and her family came this week for a visit. It was fun to take them to our favorite spots/activities. Apollo loves playing with his cousins and Annie loves all the attention the girls give her. 5 kids and 4 adults in a two bedroom apartment made for some fun. It felt like coming home to an empty house after church today. We miss them already. Here's some of what we did.



We rode the ponies, train, paddle boats, and visited the zoo (with a petting area) at Irvine ranch.




Irvine Park Balloon.



We rock climbed on the beach.




Carleton, Josh, and Brad did a triathlon. This was one of Carleton's lifetime goals.

Heidi and I had a date with Edward (mine was with Edward and hers was with Jacob). We had a last New Moon party before the Eclipse movie comes out.


Irvine Spectrum train rides, carousel, and Anthropology for Heidi and me.






Best babysitter ever!!! While we went out with Josh and Heidi to the beach, dinner on the water, and a movie, Carol (our friend) babysat for us. She had flashlights, exploring books, and when we came back they had planted seeds and made concrete crafts with their names on them. She is so creative and fun. She makes me want to be a better person.





Happy Easter (last week). We also spent time with Eve and Wes at the beach-good friends.





Annie's been congested and sick since Christmas. We had a scare last week when my friend, Kimberly called (she was watching the kids) and said Annie had stopped breathing. We took her in (again) to the doctor and she's on breathing treatments now. She hates it and we have to hold her pretty tight. We hope she doesn't have any lingering problems like asthma.


I have come again to the realization that the kids' attitude is linked to mine. When I am happy, they are happy. I am thankful for good friends and family that are a great support to me. I think being a mom is like living in waist high water. You see all that needs to be done but everything is done in slow motion. Everything takes longer than you think it will. I am learning more every day to be present and to really enjoy my children. I am thankful to Kimberly who offered (with 3 kids and one on the way) to take Annie while I spent some alone time with Apollo. All Apollo wants is some special attention and to know that his parents think he's great and he's a happy man. Being a mom is a humbling and wonderful experience.