And Then You Came

Dear Annie,

I was the king of the house with Mom and Dad wrapped around my little fingers. I was happy but I needed to learn patience and how to share. I was always around big people and I wanted a little person to play with and to protect. And then you came. You are my friend and I love being with you. I love acting like you. Talking baby talk. Doing the army crawl. Laughing and sharing with you. I am always thinking about how to make you happy. I make sure you have food you like and a toy to play with. I have so much fun with you. I love your hugs, kisses, and silliness. I love to be silly with you.

Love,
Apollo



Dear Annie,

What do you think about when you have nothing to think about. This is the question I heard when I was in high school and what ever we thought about would be what we should choose as our career. I thought about holding a baby. When I was little, I was like a little mother to my brothers and sister and would always ask to hold other babies. I had a babysitting kit and planned fun games and activities for the kids.

Just thinking about the years of trying to start a family and not being able to is very painful. I remember coming home from a baby shower where I had held someone's baby and being so heart broken. Test after test. Procedure after procedure. The worst was of all was having to do everything on certain days and waiting for the results. I was loving being a teacher, wife, summer facilitator, yet I felt like my life was on hold.

And then you came. You and Apollo are our answered prayers. Seeing you for the first time was one of the greatest joys I have ever known. You were healthy and beautiful and I just held you and cried with joy. You brought a sweetness and joy to the three of us. You were our second miracle. The first miracle came in that we were able to have children with the help of modern technology. The second miracle came without the help of modern technology.

I saw a painting once of a mother with a baby surrounded by angels and was overcome. I feel that angels surround us when I rock and sing to you. I love your tight hugs. I love when you snuggle into me and suck your thumb. I love your goofiness and how you entertain our family. You have such personality in such a little body. You are beautiful with your big brown eyes and pretty face. You make us laugh with your crazy hair and crinkled face you give us. You love being outside. As a little baby, you were so content, peaceful, and happy and if you ever were unhappy, I could set you outside and all was well again. You adore Apollo. Watching the two of you play together, as I ran with you in the stroller, made me so happy. Apollo was hiding your cheerios under your chin and laughing. You were grunting because you wanted your cheerios. I feel so blessed when I watch you two play together. I love to see you with Dad too. You get so excited when you see him, twisting your wrists and waving your hands. He is so sweet with you and I can tell he loves having a daughter too.

You have made my life complete. I am thankful each day to be your mom. I am thankful for this weekend to celebrate your life.

Love,
Mommy




Dear Annie,

I was a happy new father, enjoying my new little boy. He changed my life completely, and I thought to myself on more than one occasion: "My life is pretty good. If Apollo is the only child we're able to have, I'll be happy." I thought I would feel complete even if I couldn't have a daughter...and then you came. From the moment we found out you would be coming to live in our family, I was excited to see you. When I got to see you for the first time through an ultrasound and found out that I would be having a little girl, I was filled with an unimaginable joy. When I first saw you and heard your little cry, I instantly loved you. Holding you and looking at your beautiful eyes and cherubic face never fails to make me smile. I love the time we get to spend together, and I love seeing you learn and grow. I love seeing the joy you bring to others, even random strangers, who see your easy smile and happy eyes. Having a daughter is a completely different experience than having a son, and I love every part of it. You've made my life happier and more complete than I could fathom before you came. I'll love you forever - thank you for a wonderful year!

Love,
Dad




A party fit for a princess.




























Carol gave Apollo some tools. It was funny to see all the boys crowd around and play with them.



We ended Annie's celebration at Joe's Crab Shack. Annie was waving her arms and getting so excited when we danced.




Where's Apollo? We've been playing hide and seek.




Apollo follows his daddy around like a little puppy. Even vacuuming with dad is fun.


Here's the new rocket Apollo painted and glued together. Michaels has tons of wooden sets-trains, tractors, boats, etc. all for a buck. We bought them all. Apollo wants to work on them all the time. He wanted to work on one before nap time so I gave him the box and told him we could when he got up. Big mistake. He couldn't sleep. After an hour and a half of hearing noises in his room, he came out and said, "I have a good sleep" and was ready to paint.

Viva Las Vegas

Thanks to a super husband that built forts, dressed the kids cute for church, went bike riding, and played with the kids, I had a perfect weekend of bliss. Apollo was being kind of pouty this morning and then Carleton realized it was right when he had told him he had to go to work this morning that it began. Carleton asked if he was sad because he had to go to work and Apollo replied with a little cry, "yes". When we got ready to go to the park this morning, he said he wanted to stay with dad. They must have had a fun weekend. On Saturday, Carleton got together with a buddy that has a little girl and they all went to the park to play together then went to eat at In and Out. He could be a great full time dad and I could go back to work...no thanks!!


Every year I get together with the teachers I taught with at Hillcrest High. I love being around educators. It brought back great memories and it was fun to see all the things they've been up too...new jobs, making headbands, coaching, marathons, babies, marriages, and dating. We saw Lion King in Vegas-beautiful. I'm still training for my half, so I ran 9 miles on the Excalibur treadmill before meeting up with my pals (I saw Tiger's confession a million times). Thank goodness for good weather here. So nice to get a pedicure after a hard run. I'm already looking forward to next year. I'm a happy mother when I get to shed being a mom for a few days and visit my old non-mom self. I love being a mom and am having a terrific day playing hide and seek and looking up animals from flashcards on you-tube today but having the breaks makes me a better mommy and wife. I am lucky to have Carleton-he's so good to me and for me.



The day I left, I visited my old roommate, Heidi and my friend from Provo, Eve. So fun to see their cute families and houses and to catch up.


Here's some pics from our playgroup this week. Annie was the messiest of all the kids dumping out all the colored puddings, eating them, and spreading them everywhere with her army crawl (not to mention crawling through the chalk art the kids had done earlier).



Annie is a total book lover. She will go flip through the books looking at the pics. We started a quiet time at nights that I love. We all read our own books (from 7-7:30 after Ann goes to bed). Apollo likes looking at his books and I get a chance to indulge too.


Carol came over this week for a practice run of Annie's birthday party cakes. Carol, if you're reading this... I love you!!! Thank you! Carol even brought fondant and we experimented. Look at this cake Carol did!

We're looking forward to seeing Carleton's family this week and to celebrating a beautiful year with our little Ann.

Valentine's Week

Mom and Dad came for a fun visit (Apollo is closing his eyes and smiling in the sun-funny picture). The weather was beautiful. It would be so fun to have them closer.







All of us got to hang out with some buddies.

Okay, last week I said I couldn't be happier in our house. I hadn't done the laundry in two weeks (Carleton and I switch every week). After doing it on Monday, I thought back to the blog post I had just done the night before about loving the place I live. Life would be better with a washer and a dryer. Next time you throw a load in here or there in your washer...be thankful. It takes me all day. This last time I left Annie locked in the house sleeping while Apollo and I left on bikes (I had the trailer behind to carry all the laundry). I thought of The Lovely Bones and of some of the "interesting" single guys in my complex. Annie was taking 2 2hr naps and sleeping 12 hours at night. Not a lot of time to fit doing laundry in there while she's awake. Apollo gets stuck in holes on his bike. We had too much laundry (only three in a building) so we had to go to another building for the fourth load. We have to carry our money, bleach, soap, dryer sheets, and clothes with us. Then, I need to monitor the time so I don't leave them in too long. Apollo puts in the quarters and helps change out the laundry sometimes. I feel like it takes me all day. I hope I look back at this post and laugh at this distant memory as I throw a load in here or there when I have a sec:)

Happy Birthday Carleton!

I feel so lucky to be married to Carleton. He makes me feel like a million bucks every day. He keeps me laughing all day long. My favorite part of the day (for the kids too) is when he comes through the door from work. Carleton is smart, funny, fun, a great dad, happy, athletic, honest, spiritual, ambitious, calm (as in doesn't stress out), and my best friend.

Carleton is always planning amazing things for birthdays and anniversaries so I wanted to surprise him with his perfect day- starting off mountain biking with his buddies, playing racquetball with Craig, and going out on a date at night. Thanks Craig, Kimberly, James, and Brad for all your help planning. I was bummed when it rained...change of plans. We last minute went with some friends for breakfast, he still played racquetball, and we still went out. Fun day for both of us.





Here's a ride he did earlier in the week.


We went to "The Lovely Bones" for our movie last night. It made me so thankful to be a full time mom. Carleton told me once that he would work three jobs before I would have to go to work. Even though we live in a small 2 bedroom apt. (and pay more than most people do for their mortgages in other states), I couldn't be happier. I really enjoy being with Apollo and Annie and I know there is a short window of time that I get them to myself. Apollo had on a backpack the other day and looked like a school boy. I know that day will come too soon. I am thankful for my education...very thankful I got to teach for four years...thankful I got to speak at parent and high school camps during the summers (and absolutely loved it). It's not that motherhood is easy-quite the opposite. But I think if it were easy (and didn't take a lot of my brain power to think how I can best raise them and be purposeful) I would feel like there is more I could be doing. I love that Apollo and I watched the tractors work on our potholes for an hour and not have to rush (this is not always true-we are still on the go a lot). I could freeze Apollo at this age and be happy. He always says the funniest things, is so thoughtful, loves to snuggle, has an easy smile and laugh, is so good to his sister, and is at an age where he can do a lot of "normal" stuff with me like cook, clean, play ball, and ride a bike. I love that Annie likes to "entertain us", snuggle, smile, make funny scrunched up faces, and adores her older brother. I love to wake up with a little Apollo coming into our room. I get Annie up and I feed her in bed while Carleton starts breakfast. I love learning how I can be a better mom through prayer, books, the internet, and others. I am learning more and more every day that Heavenly Father loves mothers too by how He answers my simple requests. I love the quote by Elder Faust, "You need not sing all the verses of your song at the same time." I feel like much of my life has been about studying, studying science, playing sports, hanging out with my friends, etc. I feel like these last few years are another verse of my song. For the first 5 years of our marriage I never cooked. We always ate simple things like salad, cereal etc. I'm having fun cooking, starting my own teacher-training business, managing a household, learning to sew, crochet, and craft. I'm enjoying this "domestic" time. I enjoy being creative and thinking about how I can be a better person, wife, and mother. I enjoy all the dates we go on and Apollo's playgroup. Sometimes I have felt defensive with comments that have been made to Carleton or me about being a stay-at-home mom and I think sometimes this has made me feel like I need to prove myself and show all that I'm doing as a mom. But, I decided to just let it go (easier said than done) and I have enjoyed just being with the kids and being present with them. Of course I love doing my own things too. I need my girl time. I like to set and achieve goals. I want my kids to know that becoming a mom doesn't mean you give up your dreams and hobbies. I enjoy the kids' bedtime so I can hang out with Carleton. Wow. I wrote a lot. The movie just really got to me. I feel so blessed...so so thankful.





Here's Apollo doing putting dye in the water. I asked him what we could do to make the red spread out faster. I talked to him about molecules. How if we stirred it, heated the water, or added a catalyst, that the molecules would move faster.




We're always having dance parties around here.




Apollo's been helping me get ready for Annie's birthday party. He's covering the beads with glue and glitter. He doesn't stick with it for too long. He'd rather play with cars or with Annie.