Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Goodbye Little One

We had an ultrasound this morning and couldn't even see the baby. The doctor told me to stop all my medications. Apollo and Annie came to the ultrasound and when Apollo saw me crying said "it's ok...do you want to play with my bulldozer?" and handed it to me. I was so blessed to be with my husband that I adore more than I can say and my two kids that bring me incredible joy. The doctors hope the baby will pass on its own and if it doesn't, I'll go back in a couple of weeks for them to do it.

I feel a great love from my Heavenly Father right now. I know he has a plan for our little family that will make us very happy. I wish I could call each family member and friend to tell you "in person" so you don't hear it from a blog but my heart is sad today and many know that I'm waiting on ultrasound results from today.

We are a family prone to joy and my hope is that we come out of this stronger, more empathetic, and more thankful for all that we have. Because of the ultrasound last week and some miscarriage symptoms, I feel that we have had a little preparation. One night, as I laid by Carleton, I thought about what would happen if we lost the baby (or future baby) and I saw planning fun dates with Carleton and other things. We talked today about some fun plans now that I'm not pregnant. I'll get my roller blades back out and get back to running again. It's been hard not working out. I am very very blessed with good parents, siblings, friends, and extended family.

16 comments:

Marlon and Suzana said...

D&C 121:8 "And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.." When I read your post this scripture came to mind. You have amazing strength & faith :)

Katie and Seth said...

Robyn you are such an inspiration to me. I love you how positive you are and your strength gives me strength. We love you and thank you so much for sharing your talents with the girls and me this evening. WE loved it.

PXH said...

You are in my thoughts and in my heart Robyn. Take care. I will contact you soon.

Sara G said...

I'm crying and praying with you. You are an incredible person and I feel so blessed to know you. We really need to get together soon. What is your nearest airport again? I love you.

Lisa said...

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. If you need to talk, I'm always here but I know it's a very personal thing you're going through. Thank you for sharing with us and being so honest with your feelings.

Jenn said...

oh that is so sad. my eyes are filled with tears as I read about your sad news. I am amazed at how optimistic you are. what a great example of choosing happiness no matter what comes your way. i hope you get feeling better soon.

Tukuafu's said...

Oh, honey.. I love you. You are strong, amazing and most importantly foreordained to do this.. Hold strong my love!

Smittys said...

Sorry friend. You are right though..you will be a stronger person from this experience. Love you!

Bonnie said...

You have such a great attitude, and I'm grateful you have the support you need. Still, I'm sitting here crying over your loss. Never easy. Love you so much!

Ali said...

I'm so sorry. What an emotional and physical roller coaster you've been on. Sounds like you're on the right track to get off it as smoothly as possible. We'll say a prayer your way...

Nikki said...

I'm so sorry Copas. Please know that we are thinking of and praying for you. I hope you know you can call if you need anything.

JaNae said...

Wow Robyn, it has been a while since I've blogged, but I was thinking about you and just randomly checked your blog. I had tears in my eyes reading your posts. I can only imagine how you guys must be feeling. But, know that you are such an inspiration to all! I am so amazed with your attitude, strength, and testimony. You will be in my prayers. I love you!!

Erin said...

I was so sorry to read your news. I'm so glad you know there is a plan for your little family.

heidi said...

I'm so sorry Rob. I was crying reading your post. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

Jodi said...

We've been out of town so I'm just reading your post now. I'm so sorry. My heart hurts for you. Love you.

Rachael said...

Robyn - Greg read this last night and told me this morning as I was getting ready. I've been thinking of you all day.

You are such an excellent mother! I'm just in awe of you and the love you have for your children. Apollo and Annie are so blessed to have you (I know you feel vice versa).

You guys are in our prayers. Do you have any more frozen eggs? What's the next step??