Sunday, June 20, 2010

Magnum Opus

Happy Father's Day. This has been a roller coaster of a week. We went to LA for our first ultrasound and the doc could not detect the heart beat and was concerned because he should be able to see it. I took a blood test and my pregnancy hormone numbers look great. Some other hormone numbers were down so I took another blood test on Fri in LA. Other numbers were down so now along with other meds I'm taking, Carleton now gives me nightly injections. Not a small needle and feels like peanut butter going in (it's hard for Carleton to get the liquid in). I won't go into it but I've had two nights showing symptoms of a miscarriage. We have another ultrasound on Wed. Weekly meds run from 360-500 bucks a week, blood tests are done often and range from 100-190 bucks each, ultrasound 200 bucks. We are hoping that the emotions, time, and money will be worth it. Carleton said he's done forever with fertility treatments. We have a beautiful family as is. On one of the worst nights, I looked at Apollo and Annie sleeping before going to bed (like every night) and thought what a miracle that I have two beautiful and healthy babies. I snuggled in with Carleton for bed and knew down the road that everything would be ok. Carleton is my rock-my best friend. This week was nightmarish but doable because of him. He took care of the kids because I couldn't be on my feet. He is so positive and peaceful.

Carleton took the kids out for...of course burgers.





As Carleton was taking the kids to a party, I grabbed some white tights and cut one end and wrapped it around Ann's head. I thought she looked cute.





Here's what Apollo, Annie, I made Dad today.


Apollo and I just finished Charlotte's Web this week. When referring to the egg sac Charlotte made she said it was her magnum opus- her "great work." I thought of Apollo and Annie and thought they too are my magnum opus. I am not a spider fan but what a tearjerker the book was for me this week.

Happy Dad's day to my dad. Apollo's middle name is Kevin after him. He always has good advice for me and has been a great support this week. We both have a great love for education, learning, and life. We are alike in a lot of ways and I look up to him in a lot of ways. I am thankful for his insights and for our friendship.

9 comments:

The Ericksons said...

Robyn, I am so sorry you have to go through this. We had a similar story when we found out I was pregnant with Carson...although I did not have all the injections. I was told that I probably had a miscarriage, and I had to wait a week to go back in. I had all the signs of a miscariage too and I coped with it and then a week later we got a heart beat! I hope and pray that it turns out the same way for you. You are truly one amazing lady with a wonderful family! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

Marlon and Suzana said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry you have to do those horrible injections again.

I loved the tights on Annie's head on Sat., I looked at her & thought of a "flower child!"

Much love & prayers :)

Smittys said...

Sorry Robyn! That stinks. did the Dr do the internal ultrasound, instead of just trying to find the heartbeat? you can ask for one if they can't find it again. i had to have one the first appointment and then had to have a sonogram the second time because she could not find it again. I would ask because then you won;t have to worry so long.
Keep your head up and think positive too, you know Heavenly Father knows whats best for you, even if you don;t think it is.

Lisa said...

I hope everything is going to be ok with the baby. I understand the agony of two miscarriages and my heart and prayers are with your family. You have a beautiful family and like me, we may not understand the reason that things happen but the Lord is taking care of us.

Your little headband is soooo cute! You are way clever - you should make a book :)

Jacqui said...

Ah, Robyn, I am sorry for all you're going through right now. Those injections sound horrific! And coupled with the emotions of a possible miscarriage...I am so sorry. I've had two myself, and they were painful enough without paying through the nose to try to get the baby here in the first place. I really pray that everything will turn out well for you. If anyone deserves happiness, it's you! Hang in there. You'll be in my prayers.

Aub said...

Your mom and Heidi came over to visit Taylor, Sam & I this morning and they told me what your going through. I hope everything works out, and I'm glad you have your adorable kids and supportive husband to help you.
Just thinking about getting those shots makes my bumb hurt! I feel for you!

Nikki said...

Thinking of you guys. Robyn, please let me know what I can do for you. You have a beautiful little family. You are amazing and will make it through this hard time. You'll be in my prayers!

melbel said...

Oh Robyn {and Carlton}! I can't stop thinking about you both and the emotions you must be dealing with. You've been so open with everything and I pray everything will be all right.

Sending you our love!

Erin said...

Robyn, I hope you are doing okay and things are looking up. I just wanted to tell you I picked up that Positive Parenting book you suggested and it's great! It has made a difference already as I continue to work on my Magnum Opus. And don't even tell me what a tear jerker Charlotte's Web is.